Thursday, January 3, 2013

Losing It

Yeah, this is me again, flopping on the floor out of frustration again.  Master actually gave me a surprise inspection yesterday and like every time he does this, I wasn't prepared.  I remembered to shave arms and my legs mostly, though I did no remember the most important areas and Master said he was disappointed in me.  Not only that, I didn't sleep well last night, if at all and when I finally did pass out for five minutes, the little one decided to poop all over the floor.  That was a fun mess to clean that took up about two hours of my day and then I had to clean my poor green machine and the bathtub afterwards.  The little one could have walked not even ten feet to the toilet and instead did it in front of the bedroom.  I wonder sometimes...

So, lots of cleaning, past my breaking point of stress and Master wasn't online all day today, not even for a minute.  He messaged me back almost half-a-day ago, but I know he probably won't even notice I texted him back and if he does, he won't reply or he will in a day or so if I don't get online.  I'm just really stressed and needed someone to talk to and of course whenever that happens, he is never there for me.  Master has actually only been there for me being stressed / sick once, and no, that wasn't when my father passed.  He just was awkward and didn't even comfort me when that happened.  Overall, I'd have to say he is really really bad at being a decent person of any kind, though I shouldn't say those things about my Master, even if they are true.  He's just so self-servicing that he forgets I have emotional needs too.

So, I have to go in to work tomorrow and fill out papers.  I got my uniform today and found at checkout that my card was missing.  I really need to use it for ten transactions this month and I'm going to go insane if I have to pay a fee for not using it.  So, I guess I'm going to have to think of some needs that are really tiny in cost and just purchase one item per transaction.  Here is to hoping tomorrow is a better day...