Saturday, January 26, 2013


So Master and I stayed up too late and chatted for a bit.  He is still really sick and I do feel bad for him, but his behavior is odd.  We only say "I love you" before bed unless I'm feeling really down in the dumps that day and need to hear it, but he just said "love you" with no I.  I thought it might be a typo, but we chatted again later and he said the same thing.  Not only that, he said "ni night" which is my thing only.  I kind of feel like he just parroted what I said seeing as he said what I did minus the I.  Almost as if to impersonalize what he was saying to me.  It wouldn't bother me so much if he had gotten offline when he said he was instead of still being on an hour later.

I just feel rather confused and unloved now.  It's almost as if he just doesn't want to talk with me and only wants to talk with that other girl.  He seems to make her so much more important than me that I'm starting to feel like the third wheel in my own relationship.  I don't know if I should speak up about my feelings or if I should just fade out of the situation and give up.  He already denied being online earlier the first time he did this even though I know the internet doesn't change pages for you.  I just feel I have made the wrong choice in signing a contract with him now that I'm stuck to someone forever and still lonely do to their actions.  It's like someone getting a pet and then deciding they can opt out of taking care of them and just pat them on the head once in a while.