Sunday, February 24, 2013

Losing it...

I'm still feeling the horrible ache of being unwanted and unloved right now.  Sure Master tried his best a couple days ago to tell me I'm loved, but I don't feel it.  He was only affectionate for one day and then went back to his normal, unloving, uncaring self who puts me on hold.  I just wish I wasn't in love sometimes because of how much it hurts and how much I'm starting to feel like it's not worth it.  Sure Master is the person I want, but he doesn't seem to want me.  I even told him I oogled someone else and he doesn't see why he should care.  I think he really just is in love with that other girl and doesn't give a crap about me.  I'm starting to hate myself again.  I'm going to bed before I start throwing a tantrum and scream at him for being such a horrible husband and Master.

On another note, Master said that he might visit soon, though I'm sure that's just a sick tease like everything else he says to me.  I don't know why he bothers saying stuff like that when he knows I'll just get upset when it doesn't happen or it happens a really long time from now.  He might just like seeing me upset.